Friday Sonnet
It's the end of the week
Almost time to go home
Today ends the streak
Of 'productivity syndrome'.
I worked hard all day
Trying to get some things done
And I'm happy to say
That I'm still number one
At stalling and waiting
And doing it later
I simply am stating
I'm a shirker of labor
To all the work I have left undone...
I say, "It's five o'clock...gotta run."
Thursday Sonnet
We should eat turkey once a week
And not just once a year.
I'd eat ev'ry part (but not the beak)
And wash it down with beer.
Thursday's the day that I propose
We eat this weekly feast.
Because as far as events go,
Poor Thursday has the least.
Lethargic Fridays would be implied,
(You'd need a day to recover.)
Thanksgiving would fall right in stride
So whaddaya say, turkey lover?
How do we make it official? I don't know what the laws be.
Thursday needed a lift ever since the last episode of Cosby.
Wednesday Sonnet
We sit upon the weekly crest
It's the point of no return.
Too late to cry or be depressed
So onward we sojourn.
You could take a moment to reflect
On lessons newly learned.
Or maybe consider this row of days wrecked
A span renounced and burned.
Whatever the case, it's now downhill
There's no way to go back.
Foot off the brakes, roll forward until
We go flying down the track!
I have vague memories of Monday, you were such a grump.
All's forgiven because as of noon, we've made it o'er the hump!
Tuesday Sonnet
They say Tuesday's child is full of grace
I would say that it's a disaster.
There are two events I don't embrace
That make Tuesday a glum downcaster.
Tuesday's the day, in most of the States
When they hold primary elections.
Where we extract from a few inmates
Our "favorite" bad selections.
And as if that wasn't bad enough,
We not only pick the nuthatches,
The second Tuesday of every month...
The release of Microsoft patches!
Now, I know pols are needed so that we can have laws,
But, I wish Bill Gates could patch D.C.'s intellectual flaws.
Monday Sonnet
If your headache is bad,
It's about to get worser.
The fun that you had
Is just a precursor...
To the fun you won't have
Once it's time to clock in.
There's no balm and no salve
That can quiet the din...
That clangs in your head
Once the work week's begun.
But at least you ain't dead,
And the man hasn't won.
So shake your fist and stick it to 'em.
Mondays, we all have to go through 'em.
Got Gas
The tank's getting low
The needle's on 'E'
And I already owe
A gold mine to BP.
So I look at the prices
Anything under four bucks?
I'll be eating beans and rices
Because this gas guzzler sucks...
...My account dry and flaccid.
On the verge of poverty.
I'll need an antacid
'Cuz this gas is killing me.
I used to fill my tank with a fist full of ones
But now I have a choice between crying or writing puns.
