OEDILF: Effluvia

Definition for the word 'effluvia'

It was her, and of that there's no doubt.
Her effluvia pummeled my snout.
She was eating old beans
And inflating her jeans;
I stopped breathing and gladly passed out.

Effluvium is a noxious emission of vapor. The plural form of the word is effluvia.

OEDILF: Cyst

Here's a new limerick submitted to OEDILF for the word 'cyst'. So far, no comment. I wonder why?

Seems the gift of good skin has forgone ya.
Now a lump filled with pus grows upon ya.
We'll just lance it and twist
And pinch down on that cyst,
And we'll pray we don't get any on ya.

Crookbacked

My OEDILF definition for crookbacked:

Once a crookbacked old man in my store,
As he left, dropped his keys on the floor,
So as manners dictated,
I retrieved them and waited
With a hunch he'd be back through the door.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Disafforest

Here's another submission I put in at the OEDILF, this time a definition for the word disafforest, which means "to remove all the trees from"

She owned cedars majestic and lauded. 
They've been logged. She's been badly defrauded. 
No, she didn't need wood, 
She just misunderstood 
When they asked, "Disafforest?" she nodded. 

An Ode to Baggy Pants

One of the projects I'm involved in is an online dictionary in which every definition is given in the form of a limerick. Authors can draw random words from a list of words that need to be defined and today I got the word "cullyism" which Dictionary.com defines as the state of being a cully. I had to look up "cully" which means a fool.

The image that immediately sprang to mind was of a teenage boy I saw the other day struggling to cross the street. He was carrying a bag of groceries with one hand and the other hand was clenching the waistband of his jeans which were sagging about 10 inches below the height you'd expect to find them. I thought about giving him some helpful advice that would make carrying his groceries much easier: Pull your pants ALL the way up BEFORE tightening your belt. I just laughed at him instead.

Here is the limerick I submitted for the word "cullyism":

Define cullyism: Being a fool.
That's not me, cuz I'm hip. Yep, I'm cool.
I wear big baggy pants
That fall down when I dance.
I'm the awesomest kid in my school.

I must constantly hold up my britches,
and ignore my poor nose when it itches.
I don't understand fully
Why you call me a cully.
Does my fashion sense leave you in stitches?

Friday Sonnet

I wrote a sonnet for every day of the work week. Here's the last (and probably least. :) )

Friday Sonnet 

It's the end of the week
Almost time to go home
Today ends the streak
Of 'productivity syndrome'. 

I worked hard all day
Trying to get some things done
And I'm happy to say
That I'm still number one 

At stalling and waiting
And doing it later
I simply am stating
I'm a shirker of labor 

To all the work I have left undone...
I say, "It's five o'clock...gotta run."

Thursday Sonnet

Thursdays I just start mailing it in. Evidence of this fact:

Thursday Sonnet
We should eat turkey once a week
And not just once a year.
I'd eat ev'ry part (but not the beak)
And wash it down with beer. 

Thursday's the day that I propose
We eat this weekly feast.
Because as far as events go,
Poor Thursday has the least. 

Lethargic Fridays would be implied,
(You'd need a day to recover.)
Thanksgiving would fall right in stride
So whaddaya say, turkey lover? 

How do we make it official? I don't know what the laws be.
Thursday needed a lift ever since the last episode of Cosby.