Tom Swifty Limericks

I submitted a few Tom Swifty limerick definitions at the OEDILF.

demissly
Since the acci'ent, Tom has felt blessed,
And his 'octors have all been impressed.
Though his Ds are unsung,
He still speaks (with no tongue).
"No big 'eal," Tom demissly expressed.

(dee-MISS-lee): humbly

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blimpishly
In a zeppelin race overseas,
The French team veered left from a breeze.
"I've got this one bagged,"
Herr Tom blimpishly bragged,
"I beat left-leaning Frenchies with ease."

You are blimpish if you could be described as being proud of your ultraconservative nationalist views.

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benignantly
"I am holding nine ants in my palm,
And I've pledged to be gracious and calm.
I won't harm these poor strays."
This benevolent phrase
Was benignantly spoken by Tom.

Double Dactyl - Take Two

My second try:

Limerick Gimmerick
Jason of Pendleton
Tried double-dactyls while
Fearing the worst.

Uh-oh-spaghetti-o!
They're all bass-ackwards cuz
He's used to anapest
(Dactyls reversed).

Double Dactyl - Pogonophobia

For a while, I've maintained that the purest form of poetry known to man is the limerick.

Today I learned of a form that may just rival the limerick - the double dactyl. Lines 1,2,3,5,6 and 7 are made of two dactyls (BAH-bah-bah). Lines 4 and 8 have one dactyl followed by a single syllable, and they rhyme. Line 2 is a person's name and one of the lines in the second stanza has to be a single word.

Here is my first try, I wrote about my good buddy, Ben Gibney:

Fuzzily Wuzzily
Benjamin Gib-a-ney
Grew him a beard which was
Coming in fine. 

Then he found out he had
Pogonophobia.
He can shave his, but he'd
Best not touch mine.

OEDILF: Electromagnetic Pulse

EMPs can blow circuits and breakers,
Make blackouts extending for acres,
And turn gadgets to toast.
At least one group can boast
That it won't affect them—that's the Quakers.