October 17, 2011
Writing Forums' October Poetry Challenge
In arithmetic, he wasn't strong.
This math quiz was taking so long.
It was hard to divide.
Still, he tried till he cried,
but the answers kept coming out wrong
He would solve and immediately doubt
if he'd taken the most proper route.
He' retry, but alas,
by the end of the class,
his eraser was simply worn out.
The bell rang. The quiz was now due,
but his sheet was a sad sight to view.
There was nothing but air
in assorted spots where
the eraser wore all the way through.
The tests were collected and sent
to the teacher for grading. She went
through each page in the stack
and then handed them back.
He saw his grade: ninety percent!
He pondered his luck with a frown...
To the head of the class from class clown?
Was he smart? Well not quite,
every one he got right
had shown through from the next paper down!
January 20, 2012
Washington Post Style Invitational (Week 951)
"Double Over With Laughter" - Double a word and define it:
faint feint - pretending to pass out
lessen lesson - learning how to simplify
laps lapse - forgetting how many times you've gone around
wine whine - complaining that you would rather have merlot instead of this watered down grapejuice they call zinfandel
whacks wax - How the mob extinguishes candles
thyme time - the instant that follows rosemary
shoo shoe - footwear that can be used to keep others at bay. Not to be confused with the poo shoe, which can be just as effective.
roll role - the part that bread plays in your diet
rap wrap - to finish busting a rhyme
nye nigh - the Science Guy approacheth
mall maul - injury sustained while fighting over the last pair of Air Jordan's at Foot Locker.
lute loot - stuff you hide in your instrument
lieu loo - A bush when there's no other alternative
knot...not! - How Wayne and Garth tie their velcro shoes
idle idol - Billy, in between tours
hoarse horse - nay neigh
dew due - during a drought, you're in this... deep!
climb clime - how's the weather up there?
border boarder - one who lives on the edge
ark arc - a rainbow
January 22, 2012
Mad Kane's Humor Blog Limerick of the Week (45)
Entries had to contain the first line: A fellow was trying to hide
A fellow was trying to hide
Some cash that he earned on the side
As a writer of fiction.
His craft caused conviction–
When he filled out his taxes, he lied.