Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Definition Limericks With a Religious Twist

Looking through the definitions that I've submitted to OEDILF.com, I noticed that a lot of them centered on religious topics. This wasn't intentional but I do think about religion quite a bit and apparently it comes through when I write. Some of the defined words are specifically religious, others only fit this category because of the way I used them, but my hope is that all are entertaining or thought-provoking in some way.

The first one defines the word Damascene...

Ananias, a Damascene, dreamed
He should go and find Saul, who it seemed
Had been blinded and humbled,
And to Straight Street had stumbled.
When An found him, Saul's sight was redeemed.

(DAM-uh-seen): a resident of, or pertaining to, the city of Damascus (also damaskeen or damasken)

You can read this entire account in Acts 9.

Damascene can also mean to ornament with wavy patterns or with inlaid work of precious metals.

Disobligement: it means you're released
From a duty. For instance, that priest
Who was told to take leave
After last Christmas Eve
When he preached that the Pope rode the Beast.

Revelation 17 talks more about this Beast and the harlot that rides it. Needless to say, the Pope was not impressed with what the priest had to say.

The Damianists say there's just God
And the trinity doctrine is flawed.
They say Father and Son
And the Spirit are One.
I don't think so, that math is just odd!

The Damianists are those who share the beliefs of 6th century Pope Damian of Alexandria. He broke with the mainstream trinitarian belief that God is three distinct persons in one being, in favor of Sabellianism, the belief that the Father, Son and the Spirit are just different characteristics of one being. Personally, I don't find either view biblical.

"To promote ecumenical hope,
We'll unite and be one," said the Pope.
"Dear daughters, come home;
Re-embrace Mother Rome."
But many Reformers said, "Nope."

Ecumenism involves promoting unity among churches and religions.

In 2005, Pope Benedict gave a speech in Germany addressing the Protestant churches. He expressed a desire to create a "renewed sense of brotherhood" among the various Churches that call themselves Christian.

To some, these remarks seemed disengenuous when in June 2007, an official statement came from the Vatican claiming that the Protestant faith communities "are not true Churches."

"It must always be clear, when the expression sister churches is used in this proper sense that the one, holy, catholic and apostolic universal church is not sister but mother of all the particular churches" — Cardinal Ratzinger.

Since these clysmian factors abound,
There's a chance you won't see me around.
I will take today off
Since I'm... glub—I'm not... koff—
I'm not sick, I am calling in drowned.

(CLIES-mee-an) related to the deluge

Edom / Esau
Know what Jacob's big brother would see?
Esau lentils in soup (for a fee).
They would cost him his share
Due as Isaac's first heir.
If he'd waited, he'd Edom for free.

In the Old Testament, Jacob had an older brother named Esau. As the firstborn, Esau was to have received the birthright (the greater portion of the inheritance). Esau sold his birthright to his younger brother for a bowl of lentil soup. He must have really been hungry.

Esau is also referred to as Edom. Anciently, Edom was also the land where the Edomites (descendants of Edom) lived.

Why did disciplinants whip their own backs?
Did they just like the sound of the smacks?
No, they thought it absolved
Them of sin and involved
Singing hymns to the beat of the whacks.

(DIS-uh-plen-unt) also known as flagellant

Something Deuteronomic was said
When my wife finished making our bed:
"Thou shalt not leave thy socks
Or thy pestilent jocks
In the sheets, or thou shalt lose thy head."

To the angels and saints I say, "Hiya.
I've a concept I wanna run by ya.
You ain't worshipped like God,
But we still give a nod
With respect a step down called dulia."

(doo-LYE-uh) To a Catholic, there are various levels of honor. Latria is the highest honor, given to God alone. After that there is veneration, which is honor paid to non-deities. Veneration is broken down into hyperdulia (honor paid to the Virgin Mary) and dulia (honor paid to angels and saints).

In Islam, Hinduism, and Protestantism, there is a different term used to encapsulate veneration, hyperdulia and dulia—they say idolatry.

Armstrong, Herbert
Herbert Armstrong, a true pioneer,
Started preaching on-air on a mere
One-hundred-watt station.
In time, the whole nation
Heard his voice if they had ears to hear.

Herbert W. Armstrong (1892-1986) first preached on the radio in 1933 on station KORE out of Eugene, Oregon. His World Tomorrow broadcasts gradually gained greater audiences and by 1942 were going out over the 50,000-watt WHO of Des Moines, which reached the entire US. In 1967, he made the switch to broadcasting on television. At its height, The World Tomorrow television program had a global reach, airing on 382 US stations and 36 international stations.

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